Am I ugly? Am I a weirdo? Why is everyone staring at me? Do I have a huge head or something?

These were all the thoughts of a confused little third grader. I am just an ordinary, average girl, except that I was the only Asian girl in my entire elementary school. I always felt like I stuck out like a turtle in a bowl of cereal. Ignorant black children, never exposed to culture outside of their momma’s cooking, always asking me if I was Chinese, to open my tiny eyes.  I was shy, in hopes of averting less attention to my chinky self. No one played with me because I wasn’t one of them. I was angry. I hated school. I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t one of them. I begged my parents to move, but we were merely a poor immigrant family. “No more money” she would say in her Korean accent.

It wasn’t so long until I progressed into my teen years and began realizing that what I have is a blessing. My eyes were opened to a whole new world, a whole new perspective. I have a sense of both sides. I know what it’s like to have conservative, strict parents that are down my throat about being polite. Parents that are never satisfied with straight A’s. Parents that never allowed me to sleepover a friend’s house, afraid I’ll get taken away. Parents that always made me practice the piano, go to tutoring, go to swim lessons, then to church. Of course I know what it’s like to have such parents; they are Asian after all. So full of high expectations. On the other hand, I also know what it’s like to have parents that don’t really care what you do in school, excited if you even bring home a single B, getting paid for every A you receive. Parents that allow you to hang out at the mall all day and chill. Parents that let you buy whatever toys you want and eat as much candy and fried chicken as you desire. Parents that washed, combed, pulled, and braided your nappy hair. Of course I know what it’s like; I had a best friend for my entire childhood with parents like this. So laid back, so not like my parents.

I used to think that everything revolved around me, but I realize now how naïve I was. People are simply ignorant, not by choice but by innocent circumstances. Children only know about what’s around them. My closest friends were those at my church- an all Korean church of course. My parents were active members. Therefore, I would spend majority of my free time there. They knew nothing of the existence of brown faces. Not because they are racist but because they grew up in Howard or Montgomery County, areas infested with mainly Korean and white faces. It was the same at school too; my friends there knew nothing except for fried chicken and kool-aid. Just kidding, but ya’ know what I’m saying. I learned that people weren’t staring at me because I was weird, but simply in amazement of how different I was. I believe that I’ve understood and lived in such circumstances long enough that I feel comfortable and confident. I’m not afraid to make fun of people’s nappy hair. I’m not afraid to make fun of people for being chinky. I embrace the fact that I’m from PG County. I embrace the fact that I’m Korean. I am a culture within itself. I have a blessing. I have the best of both worlds. Not like Hannah Montana but more like Lizzy Yang. Cool isn’t it? I know.

Like I said earlier, I’m just average. I’m nothing special. I’m sure this isn’t a-one-of-a kind paper as you have kindly requested.  I would simply like to apologize in advance. If you have read this far into the paper, I send out much surprise gratitude.